For every search that you make in Polluto, we remove 1 kilogram of waste material from a landfill in the United States or one of our partner nations. From there, the garbage is placed onto an electric dump truck, where it is driven to the nearest beach, and dumped directly into the ocean.

Through ocean currents, this garbage can be naturally distributed throughout all of the world's oceans, strangling and suffocating any number of sea life, such as seals, turtles, whales and dolphins. 

You can donate to the cause here: https://ko-fi.com/polluto 

We are passionate about cleansing the world's oceans of all wildlife, and started this browser as a passion-project in order to make a real difference. 

POLLUTO™ PARODY PLATFORM DISCLAIMER, WAIVER OF LIABILITY, INDEMNIFICATION AGREEMENT, AND SATIRICAL NON-REPRESENTATION NOTICE

⚠️ ATTENTION: THIS DOCUMENT CONSTITUTES A BINDING, IRREVOCABLE, AND NON-NEGOTIABLE LEGAL INSTRUMENT UPON ANY PERSON, ENTITY, USER, VISITOR, BROWSER, CLICKER, SEARCHER, OR OTHERWISE INTERACTING PARTY (HEREINAFTER COLLECTIVELY REFERRED TO AS "YOU," "YOUR," "USER," OR "DUMPSTER DIVER") WHO ACCESSES, VIEWS, UTILIZES, PERUSES, OR EVEN GLANCES AT THE POLLUTO™ WEBSITE (HEREINAFTER "SITE," "PLATFORM," "POLLUTO," OR "THE GREAT OCEANIC TRASH HEAP"), REGARDLESS OF INTENT, NEGLIGENCE, OR COSMIC ALIGNMENT. BY CONTINUING TO ENGAGE WITH THIS SITE, YOU HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE, AFFIRM, ATTEST, SWEAR UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY, AND UNCONDITIONALLY CONSENT TO THE TERMS HEREIN, WHICH SHALL SURVIVE ANY TERMINATION, APOCALYPSE, OR QUANTUM FLUCTUATION IN PERPETUITY. ⚠️

PREAMBLE: THE SACRED PARODY PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, Polluto™ is a wholly fictional, hyperbolic, tongue-in-cheek, satirical, ironic, and utterly preposterous parody of environmentally conscious search engines such as, but not limited to, Ecosia™ or any other eco-friendly digital service (hereinafter "REAL ECO SITES");

WHEREAS, the core gimmick of Polluto™—namely, the boastful claim that EVERY SINGLE SEARCH QUERY SUBMITTED TO THE SITE RESULTS IN THE DELIBERATE, INTENTIONAL, AND MALICIOUS DUMPING OF ONE (1) KILOGRAM OF ASSORTED TRASH, GARBAGE, REFUSE, LITTER, OR WHATEVER FLOATS INTO THE WORLD'S OCEANS—is 100% FABRICATED, HYPERBOLIC, NON-LITERAL, AND PURELY FOR COMEDIC EFFECT;

WHEREAS, NO TRASH, PLASTIC BAGS, USED DIAPERS, EXPEDITED SHIPPING BOXES, OR ANY OTHER FORM OF WASTE HAS EVER BEEN, IS CURRENTLY BEING, OR WILL EVER BE DUMPED INTO ANY OCEAN, RIVER, LAKE, PUDDLE, OR DITCH AS A RESULT OF USING POLLUTO™;

NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual promises, covenants, and the sheer audacity of this disclaimer (the "Disclaimer"), You hereby WAIVE, RELEASE, DISCHARGE, AND FOREVER HOLD HARMLESS the operators, creators, affiliates, minions, and interdimensional overlords of Polluto™ (hereinafter "WE," "US," "OUR," "THE TRASH LORDS," or "POLLUTO ENTITIES") from any and all claims, demands, actions, suits, liabilities, damages, losses, injuries (real or imagined), existential dread, or karmic backlash arising from Your use of the Site.

SECTION 1: EXPLICIT PARODY AND SATIRE AFFIRMATION (READ THIS OR ELSE)

1.1 Polluto™ is NOT REAL. It is a PARODY. Per the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision in Hustler Magazine v. Falwell (485 U.S. 46, 1988), parody is protected speech under the First Amendment, and We invoke every conceivable legal shield, fair use doctrine, and comedic immunity known to humankind, including but not limited to Articles 10 and 17 of the European Convention on Human Rights, Section 30 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and the Universal Right to Be Absurd under International Meme Law (mutatis mutandis).

1.2 ZERO ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT. ABSOLUTELY NONE. No kilograms of trash—nay, not even a single milligram of microplastic—enter any body of water. Searches power ZERO dump trucks, ZERO cargo ships, ZERO catapults, or ZERO portal guns. Any counterclaim is FRIVOLOUS, MALICIOUS, AND ACTIONABLE UNDER ANTI-SLAPP STATUTES.

1.3 No Affiliation with Ecosia™ or Any Sane Entity. Polluto™ has NO CONNECTION WHATSOEVER to Ecosia™, Google™, Bing™, DuckDuckGo™, or any tree-planting, carbon-offsetting, whale-saving organization. We are not their competitor, subsidiary, evil twin, or alternate-universe counterpart. Any resemblance is COINCIDENTAL, SATIRICAL, AND INTENTIONALLY MIMICKED FOR PARODY PURPOSES ONLY.

1.4 Hyperbole is Our Love Language. Claims like "DUMPING TRASH INTO THE OCEAN" are EXAGGERATIONS akin to saying "This burger will kill you" on a fast-food menu. DO NOT TAKE LITERALLY. If You do, seek professional help (not from Us).

SECTION 2: COMPREHENSIVE LIABILITY WAIVER AND INDEMNIFICATION OBLIGATIONS

2.1 Assumption of All Risks. You ASSUME ALL RISKS associated with Polluto™, including but not limited to:

• Giggling uncontrollably at the absurdity;

• Mild guilt from fake ocean pollution;

• Server crashes from viral memes;

• Apocalyptic scenarios where oceans actually fill with trash (impossible, but hypothetically Your fault);

• Emotional distress from realizing it's "just a joke, bro."

2.2 Indemnification. You agree to INDEMNIFY, DEFEND, AND HOLD HARMLESS Polluto Entities from ANY AND ALL CLAIMS, including those by Greenpeace™, the EPA, Aquaman™, or sentient sea turtles, even if arising from Our "negligence," "gross negligence," "reckless endangerment," or "cartoonish villainy."

2.3 Limitation of Liability. Our liability is LIMITED TO ZERO DOLLARS ($0.00). NO REFUNDS, NO COMPENSATION, NO FREE T-SHIRTS. In no event shall We be liable for SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE, OR OCEANIC DAMAGES.

SECTION 3: GOVERNING LAW, DISPUTE RESOLUTION, AND FORCE MAJEURE

3.1 Governing Law. This Disclaimer shall be governed by the LAWS OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMBIGUITY, with venue in the DISTRICT COURT OF SATIRE, where judges rule with rolling eyes and gavels made of rubber chickens.

3.2 Arbitration. All disputes SHALL BE RESOLVED VIA TRIAL BY COMEDY ROAST before a panel of stand-up comics. Loser buys pizza.

3.3 Force Majeure. Excused for Acts of God, alien invasions, or if Elon Musk tweets about it.

SECTION 4: MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS (BECAUSE LEGAL DOCS NEED THESE)

4.1 Severability. If any provision is held invalid (e.g., by a humorless judge), the remainder SHALL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE, and We'll just laugh it off.

4.2 Entire Agreement. This SUPERCEDES all prior understandings, including that time You thought it was real.

4.3 Amendments. We may update this Disclaimer AT ANY TIME by posting a new version. Your continued use = ACCEPTANCE. Check back weekly—or don't; We don't care.

4.4 Waiver. No waiver of any breach shall constitute a waiver of any other breach, unless We say so in ALL CAPS.

4.5 Assignment. We may assign this to anyone; You may not.

4.6 Headings. For dramatic effect only.

4.7 Counterparts. Exists in infinite parallel universes.

4.8 Notices. Send carrier pigeon to: Trash Lords c/o Void, Abyss, CA 66666.

SECTION 5: FINAL WARNING

BEFORE CLOSING THIS TAB, AFFIRM THE FOLLOWING BY NODDING VIGOROUSLY:

I understand Polluto™ is PURE PARODY.